Saturday, September 08, 2007
Hatred and Intolerance
If it’s one thing I just don’t get, its blind hatred. I can understand meeting someone and not liking them. I can even understand not liking what a person stands for or their principles. But how can a person hate another person just because of their race, creed, religion or color? Why hurt a person just because they are different?
I try to practice acceptance today, because without acceptance I’m doomed to relive the expectations that will eventually lead me to my destruction. Sometimes that’s harder than others, and sometimes I may not have expectations but desires for how I would like things to work out. But without fail I’m unable to handle blind hatred.
Tonight I was confronted with hatred in pretty brutal fashion. A person on a message board I frequent was offending many people, and I talked to him a bit about acceptance for other people’s perspectives. His response was this:
I hope you know that wearing black out in the sunlight doesn’t make you look thin. Gluttony is a sin. Even for Jews. Don't presume to know what Jesus thought you arrogant fatman.
You do not respect my beliefs. You Jews killed Jesus and you hate Christians. Just like we hate you. I thought Hitler gassed you fuckers. You probably got away because there wasn't an oven big enough for you.
Jesus didn't have a problem prostelatizing, its what got him killed you idiot. What he was against was the church using religion and control to keep people from knowing God. Think twice before you open your big mouth next time.
I was devastated by it. I knew that I should be able to ignore him, that he has problems and I should not by into his issues. And yet it got to me. It ruined my mood, effected me all evening, brought back various times I had been persecuted in my life for being Jewish and that feeling of being less than just for being myself.
It had already been a tough day for some other reasons, and I was wrecked. It got inside my head, and I couldn’t stop the squirrel circling in the cage. I wanted someone to just tell me it was going to be alright, that I would be alright, that I am alright despite what this person thinks, but that was not in the cards for tonight.
And maybe that’s the lesson I need to learn: to be able to tell myself that I’m alright. But it isn’t happening, at least not yet. Not through prayer, through helping other members of my fellowship, not even through a meal with friends. I just can’t seem to get it out of my head, and even now I sit up in the middle of the night thinking about his words.
Somehow I need to learn to deal with this blind hatred. Somehow I need to learn how to tune out people who haven’t taken the time to hear who I am beyond the most superficial aspects of my life. And if I can do that, if I can accomplish that goal, I think I’ll live a happier, healthier, more serene life.
Posted by Scottage at 2:47 AM /
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Back to School
Tonight was my first class in my masters program, and I must say, it was an amazing experience.
I haven’t been a student for 17 years, so it was scary walking into that room, book bag in hand, to study a topic that is so divergent from any I’ve studied before. The move from business to counseling is a huge move, and many times the terminology was as foreign to me as any of the languages I’ve learned over the years.
But after a short amount of time I began to realize just how wonderful and exciting it is to again be in an environment where everyone is learning. During class, we looked at the topic, critical research in proving social theories, from a variety of different perspectives, and discussed the various ramifications of different methodologies. What fun!
After class, a group of us walked together for a bit, and discussed some of the material from class. We were excited by the subject matter, and wanted to better understand what we had heard and learned. Soon the subject of our discussion was much broader than the class’ scope and far more satisfying as well.
Yes, I found myself somewhat behind the class because of my lack of experience or education in a related field. And yes, it was odd being much older than the vast majority of the class. But moving back into a realm of higher learning was invigorating, and I am truly excited to see where it will lead me.
So I’m a student again. It’s scary, but it’s fun; in all, it’s beyond my wildest dreams!
Posted by Scottage at 1:35 AM /