Monday, November 19, 2007

And the Weight Lifts…

I never imagined the workload of going back to school. Papers sometimes as long as 30 pages, hundreds of pages of reading every week, and this eternal feeling like, if I just spent a bit longer, worked a bit harder, I might do better in class, and achieve my goals. It all takes on a huge meaning in my eyes, probably much greater than it should.

Add on the responsibility of a new class to teach, two new jobs, the growing pains of the radio station, and the daily work that goes into recovery, and I’ve got quite a bit on my shoulders. Don’t get me wrong, I have no illusions that I have the toughest schedule around, or that my life is at all more hectic than so many people out there. But I do feel the additional pressures, and they weigh on me.

Until today!

Today was the last day of teaching for a couple weeks. I also have no classes this week, leaving me for the first time in a while with none of the responsibilities that play a constant role in my life. And as a result, I feel this tremendous weight taken off my shoulders. I know the weight will be back in a week, but for this week, it feels great!

This short pause is giving me a moment to look back at what I’ve accomplished over the past few months, and how far I’ve come. I feel stronger than I ever have, I’m really enjoying life with a clear head, and my new career path puts me in a position to really make a difference in people’s lives for the first time in my life. Beyond my wildest dreams!

Of course there have been disappointments along the way. I’ve felt alone during this period, spending a ton of time by myself. I don’t get to blog as much as I used to, or to get my feelings out, and frankly I love to write. Plus, I just don’t get the time to stop and enjoy the little things in life like I used to. So during this short break I’m going to work at all of those facets of my life.

The truth is that when I come back to classes in two weeks, I only have 3 weeks left in the semester. What’s more, I have a bit more than a week before I reach the year point in my recovery, a major milestone that I’ve been looking forward to.

The hope is that after I pass these milestones, I’ll have a better understanding of what it takes to succeed at all my tasks, and be able to find a better balance. So in many ways, I see the light at the end of the tunnel as I head in to the end of the semester. But I’m very thankful to have a week here to enjoy some of the aspects of life that haven’t been addressed as much over the past few months. And this is a total blessing!

Posted by Scottage at 3:07 AM / | |