Monday, August 13, 2007
A friend blogged about expectations tonight, and really it was the perfect topic for me to hear about tonight. I try to avoid expectations like the plague, and I know they will be the death of me in the end, but sometimes they creep into my life. And when they do, they bring me nothing by sorrow.
My expectations are not as grand as my fellow blogger. What it really comes down to is that I want other people to treat me much as I treat them. I try hard to be caring, to help people in need, to be there for those that are hurting, and to be a good friend. So isn’t it fair to expect the same in return?
The truth is that, no, it isn’t fair to expect anything in return.
One of the quotes I hear around the rooms is that if you want to build self esteem, you should do esteemable acts. If you expect something in return, even the smallest thing, then the value of these acts diminishes. And in reality, I wind up feeling ashamed as a result of my expectations, and receive no esteem whatsoever.
Another saying I hear is that expectations are resentments waiting to happen. If I expect things, I am destined to be disappointed. Even the simplest of expectations seem to never come true. But when I can avoid all expectations, and approach situations with no preconceived notion, the results are often beyond my wildest dreams.
Perhaps all I want is a little kindness, a small percentage of the kindness I extend. Maybe I look for some caring, concern about my feelings in times of trouble, as I would do for any other person. Or quite possibly it’s honesty, rigorous honesty, despite the knowledge that I might disapprove, though I rarely would reject an honest plea.
With all these situations, if I had no expectations, my needs may have been met. But instead, my expectations wind up disrupting nice relationships and my own serenity. It hurts the people around me, and myself most of all. And I feel bad for all the people I’ve imposed my expectations upon. I hope they forgive me, as I need to forgive myself.
Posted by Scottage at 1:38 AM /