Wednesday, March 22, 2006

More support emerging for Christopher Walken

This is Scottage reporting from Christopher Walken's frozen tundra headquarters in Rochester, NY, where members of the Walken campaign have refused to abandon the campaign even after the candidate abandoned the campaign. Why have people stuck with it, you may ask? Well, we can get that answer from new supporter Bruce Willis:

You know, this was never about the Chris. I like the guy, sure, but I didn't get into this for him. I got into it because something has to change around here. And since his values are my values, I figured this is where I belong. Plus, we're actors, so there's no way for those jerkoffs in Washington to intimidate us; all they can do is get more people seein' me. As if people don't know me.

Plus, Christopher has some good ideas on taxes. Sure, I would wind up being taxed more under it, but households around the country would have more money to spend on my movies, and I have 6 lined up for next year alone, so I win no matter what. And hey, isn't it all about me winning? I think it is. Yippee Kayyeah!

So yeah, sure, what the hell, I'm Christopher Walken. I don't like the way taxes are squeezing my customers out there, and I hate the way the Republicans don't care about it. I would get into a sweaty T-shirt and chase them around narrowly avoiding death, but I know Arnie likes it a little too much. So instead, I'm Christopher Walken. Hell, I played everyone else!

Oh, and hey, if you Chris, tell him I have his watch. It's a piece of $h!t and smells like @$$, and I don't really think my pop ever owned this...I think he just couldn't pawn the hunk of junk off on anyone else. So tell him to come grab it, I hate the damn thing!

And it a related story, more support is rolling in for Walken. Brad's Brain caught an exclusive today with George Clooney, who stood squarely behind the actor-turned politician. And Abba is scheduling a reunion concert to support this campaign of values, as seen on the Meltwater, Torents, Meanderings, Delta site, which was recently redone and looks amazing!

Are you sick of business as usual with the Bush Administration? It's time for a change, time for a campaign of values! We've put a face on the healing this country needs, and the face is Christopher Walken. Show your support for the Walken campaign, tell us why you are Christopher Walken and link back here. If you haven't read his platform yet, check it out here.

Remember, we have absolutely no support or endorsement for the candidate. But when you read the platform of the campaign, expressed by these great farces of stars, I'm sure you'll agree that these are the views we would love to see in our next president.

This story is a farce, and is paid for by Christopher Walken for President

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Posted by Scottage at 2:45 AM / | |