Friday, May 12, 2006

Reunion Weekend, Recreating Yourself, and a 500 Credit Raffle

This weekend I am heading down to Philadelphia for my 20th High School Reunion from Germantown Friends School.  I only learned about it Sunday, which has made this week replete with hurried work in an attempt to be ready to go and spare time spent worrying over the upcoming event.  And now, approximately 1.5 hours from my departure, I’m taking a moment to focus on where I’m heading.

First off, I’m not sure I remember that much from High School. I was sent a list of the people that should be attending, and most of the faces came back as foggy images, but nothing concrete. And perhaps that is what makes me so nervous. I tend to get nervous of the unknown. Not only the unknown of whom my classmates were and are, but the unknown of what I was, and where it has led me to.

I know this sounds odd, but I think each of us has the opportunity to recreate ourselves just a bit when we relocate to an area where we know no one. I’m not talking about lying; I’m speaking of determining your role and your place in a new community by presenting yourself one way. If I had been the comedian at one location, I didn’t need to be that same person at the next spot, I could be more serious and introspective, as an example.

Except I’ve moved so many times it’s hard to remember the Scottage of old. I don’t remember what people thought of me, or how I was perceived. Who knows if their expectations will match up with the accomplishments I’ve actually made?  What will they see when they see me today? Will they focus on the single status, or on the independence? Will they notice the adventures or the inability to find a home?

And why should it matter to me?  That’s one I wish I had the answer to, believe me. But it does. Now about an hour from leaving, I can’t help but focus on me, and what they will see when they see me, hoping it’s the positives of 20 years apart.  I know I feel like I’ve done some great things, but for some reason the views of these strangers, these people I haven’t seen for 20 years, seems to make a difference to me.

I have neither the answers as to why it worries me nor to what difference it will make if they see me as a total failure. But I know that, as I prepare to leave, and to see these people who make up my far distant past, I am doing everything I can to make a good impression. As for why, your guess is as good as mine.

Perhaps you can tell me. Let me know what your experiences were regarding your reunions, or, if you haven’t had a reunion yet, what you would expect from one.  When I get back on Sunday, I’ll give credits to everyone who responds, and 500 credits to one responder.  And in the mean time, I guess you need to wish me luck on my reunion weekend!

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Posted by Scottage at 11:37 AM / | |